Since when did the closet become Heaven?
by Furui
Summary: Hidan wants to play 7 mins in heaven, and Hidan gets what Hidan wants. Tobi and Deidara, dark tiny closet, you know how this is gonna turn out ;D R&R Humor, Hidan's cursing, TobiDei ;D all you need rolled into one long one-shot. No OOC either xD


Disclaimer: Unfortuantly I don't own Naruto, If I did there'd be alot of pretty babies running around.

As you can see my obsession with TobixDeidara just keeps taking over my pen, : I am very sorry *salutes* but ayeee what can I say :3 them boys are perfect for eachother. Well on with the slight smut x3

In Heaven (;

"Shut up your pansy ass and put something in." Hidan yelled at Deidara, thrusting a purple feathered, pimp hat in his face.

"Why the hell are we here, un?" Deidara asked, irritated, throwing one of his clay birds into the hat. Hidan moved on to Kisame, making him place something in.

"'Cause we're going to play seven minutes in heaven, dipshit." Hidan said giving Deidara a 'DUHHH' look, before turning to everyone and screamed, "EVERYONE LISTEN UP, WE'RE GONNA PLAY SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN. ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WILL BE VICIOUSLY MURDERED AND EATEN BY ZETSU! DOES ANYONE OBJECT?" Everyone was extremely quiet, making sure to not make a sound.

"Good," Hidan grinned mischievously at all of the gathered, homicidal maniacs. "The dumbass can go first." He walked toward Tobi giving him a bored look.

"Thank you Hidan-san~!" He squealed while reaching into the pimp hat, drawing out Dei-Dei's clay bird. "I GOT SEMPAIIII~!" Tobi squealed even louder. Hidan watched the wide eyed Deidara stand up and walk next to the masked idiot, which made Hidan crack up laughing. Everyone turned with confused faces and watched him as he struggled to breathe from laughing too much. He was on his knees, holding his sides, looking up at the odd pair with eyes that leaked tears from laughing so hard.

"You…YOU GOT _HIM_?" He started off on another laughing fit.

Tobi cocked his head to the side, confused, looking at his ticked-off partner for a reason of Hidan's strange behavior.

"SO WHAT IF HE DID? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" a red face Deidara screamed at a laughing Hidan.

"He can't kiss you, I don't think it's physically possible!" Hidan choked out and began on another laughing fest. Deidara flushed a bright red and looked up at the confused Tobi who loomed over him, in all his tall glory.

Without warning Deidara threw punches at Hidan, and the room went to hell. Tobi shrugged at the chaos, and nonchalantly walked into the dark closet and sat in a far corner, waiting for his sempai. Fists flew, people were kicked in the face, others bitten when finally all settled down and glared at the still standing Deidara.

"You don't got to be so serious, man. I'm sure you'll find yourself lucky." Kisame winked at Deidara, whose face went three different shades red.

He walked toward the terrible, deadly closet. "Lucky? I don't know if I'd say that, un." Deidara complained while slowly getting closer and closer to were Tobi lurked.

"Hey after seven minutes in with him, I'm sure you'll be saying how lucky you are." Kisame joked, giving Deidara an unnerving Cheshire grin, displaying the rows of his sharp teeth.

"Well it doesn't matter," Deidara stated coldly, "I'm not going in there, un."

Hidan gave him a sadistic smirk and yanked Deidara towards the closet. "Like hell you aren't, you little bitch." He slammed open the door and attempted in shoving the blonde in.

"I said no, un!" Deidara yelled fighting against Hidan's pushes.

"Yes you areeee BITCH!" Hidan shoved him harder.

"NO MEANS NO, UN!" Deidara kicked and bit, but got nowhere.

"JUST BE," shove, "A MANNN," shove, "GRRRRRR" Hidan pushed on Deidara who was currently clinging to the door frame, "AND GET SOMEEEEE!" He shoved Deidara with all his might, slamming the door and locking it as quickly as possible.

Deidara groaned, and stood up trying to find the wall. As his hand went to touch the wall, his foot stumbled over something on the floor, causing him to land on something warm. He looked around the dark closet in confusion, trying to figure out what it was….. Did Hidan have a cat?

'Ahhh shit, I killed his cat.' Deidara thought, mentally cursing at himself.

"Um Sempaiii~ can you get off me?" Tobi asked quietly, his voice echoing in the confined space. Deidara blushed lightly pink and quickly scrambled off of Tobi and sat down in the corner. It was extremely quiet when suddenly Deidara felt something hovering over them. Tobi was squatting over him and staring at him with his head cocked to the side.

"What do you want, un?" Deidara asked the masked man.

"You're not playing Sempaiiii~" Tobi said in a pouty tone.

"I've never played before." Deidara said grumpily and looked away to stare at the wall. " I don't know how to play, un." He sounded nervous and unsure. "We're supposed to kiss and stuff, right?"

"Hai Sempai~! But we don't have to! We can just sit here and talk if you want!" Tobi said, the smile evident in his voice.

Deidara huffed and looked over at the orange-masked idiot. His bright blue eyes softened and he smiled slightly to himself. "What's the point of playing if you don't do what you're supposed to?"

Tobi almost fell over and had to put out his hand to make sure he didn't. However, it landed on Deidara's thigh. He didn't seem to notice however. "You mean you….you want to kiss me, Sempai?"

Deidara's smile widened and he grabbed Tobi's hand on his thigh, pulling it towards him, making him topple over. He pushed Tobi's mask to the side and looked at his beautiful face with awe. Tobi's face was only illuminated from the light coming from under the door. His face was as white as the moon, minus where his cheeks were flushed with a light blush. His pink, bubble gum lips were parted, as if he was trying to control his breathing. His shiny black hair fell on his forehead and his onyx eye was widened slightly in a shocked manner.

"Wouldn't have said that if I didn't." Tobi's face flushed a deep red and looked away, embarrassed. Deidara lightly ran his fingers over Tobi's scars, tightening the grip on his hand when he saw him flinch away from his touch,

"I'm sorry that I'm not as pretty as you, Sempai." Tobi said softly, biting down on those delicious looking lips.

Deidara just smiled, shaking his head slightly, "You're gorgeous to me, un." Deidara leaned in, brushing his lips against Tobi's. Tobi eagerly kissed him back, pulling his hand away from Deidara's grasp and instead wrapped his arms around Deidara's neck, while Deidara's arms wrapped around Tobi's waist, deepening the kiss.

Deciding that it was unfair, Deidara rolled Tobi off of him and pushed him to the floor. They continued exchanging heated kisses, while their hands roamed over each other's bodies. Tobi pulled Deidara's shirt off and ran his hands over the blonde's abs, making Dei-Dei moan softly in Tobi's mouth. He smirked and then started to nibble at Deidara's neck, earning another, louder moan of enjoyment. Deidara's legs straddled Tobi's hips, his hands roaming under Tobi's shirt.

The door was suddenly yanked open, by Kuzu. Tobi and Deidara turned their heads, still in that position, and saw the faces of many shocked people, staring at the two. Their eyes were shot open, and their mouths were pretty much dropped to the ground. Even Kisame and Hidan stopped their singing version of 'Turn The Beat Around' for a moment and stared.

"'Sup." Deidara said. Everyone was silent. Itachi then fainted.


End file.
